your dreams will be reduced down to breathing, and you will be grateful

Posted in featured, Society

The thing about not-being-a-person is:

They will say those people and the price of being a person is to nod and agree that yes, those people aren’t people at all.

They will have no idea who they are talking to.
You yourself will start to forget, too.
They will say a million small things that sow the seeds for violence done against you, and you will smile and let them.

You will do math, constantly.

How much do I want to be a person today? How much do I want this …

...[Read More]

on 03/5/12 | 2 Comments | Read More

Delayed Reactions

Going away to college can be overwhelming at first. Being in a different place, away from family, and having so much to do… it’s a lot to handle. Even after it looks like everything has settled in[Read More]

on 12/15/11 | No Comments | Read More

Response

When I was a little girl, I was scared. That sentence has taken two months to write. When I was a little girl, I was scared. When I was a little girl, I was a lot of things. I was functionally blind, [Read More]

on 12/14/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Pieces of Suicide

There’s a little back-and-forth echo that’s popped up between this site and Julia Bascom’s. This entry aims to amplify that little echo. Here’s Julia yesterday at her blog Just Stimming, after[Read More]

on 12/13/11 | No Comments | Read More

Speech (without a title)

Hi. My name is Julia Bascom and I’ve had it easy. I had it easy. What this means is that in fifth grade I was the smartest kid in the class. I also did a lot of hiding under my desk, and I talked fu[Read More]

on 12/12/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Introvert Survival: Diaries

When we think of diaries the first image that comes to mind is the popular image. A slim volume with lots of pink hearts all over the cover. It might have a little toy lock on it so that its content[Read More]

on 12/12/11 | No Comments | Read More

Still Half Drunk with Delight

Bee Swarms Mimic Human Brain Neurons to Make Decisions Swarms of bees and brain neurons make decisions using strikingly similar mechanisms, reports a new study in the Dec. 9 issue of Science. In previ[Read More]

on 12/10/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

The Perfect Answer

Why do you stay in the marriage? An acquaintance recently asked my husband this question. He asked it not because my husband had expressed any unhappiness with our marriage, but because I have Asperge[Read More]

on 12/9/11 | No Comments | Read More

Metaphors for mental illness

Last summer, my son began having severe, unexplained panic attacks several times a day. At the time, my only framework for understanding his symptoms was the medical model of mental illness. I was int[Read More]

on 12/6/11 | No Comments | Read More

Introvert Survival: Any Small Thing

One of the most powerful remedies for feelings of depression, loneliness, and rejection is a hobby or discipline that commands your intimate attention. As a kid I loved insects and all kinds of small[Read More]

on 12/5/11 | 2 Comments | Read More

Seeing the Best in Every Child: The Importance of Neurodiversity

Imagine that all of the people in the world have been magically transformed into flowers. Some of us are petunias. Others are begonias. Still others are tulips. Now, let’s say for the sake of arg[Read More]

on 12/1/11 | No Comments | Read More

The Obsessive Joy of Autism

I am autistic. I can talk; I talked to myself for a long time before I would talk to anyone else. My sensory system is a painful mess, my grasp on language isn’t always the best, and it takes me qui[Read More]

on 11/30/11 | 125 Comments | Read More

Subsistence of the Soul

Especially in youth, an extreme introvert feeling little commonality with the surrounding society must find ways to nourish the spirit even through the most trying times. A life on the fringes is sin[Read More]

on 11/28/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

What I need and want

I want to be loved and accepted. I wish others to tell me that it’s wonderful that I was born. I feel guilty of existing, tell me I am wrong. I need to see others talking about how happy they are wi[Read More]

on 11/25/11 | 6 Comments | Read More

The Story of the First Thanksgiving (Journal of Alternatives Edition)

In England, along time ago, there were people called Pilgrims who were very strict about making everyone observe the Sabbath and cooked food without any flavor and that sort of thing, and they decided[Read More]

on 11/24/11 | No Comments | Read More

Whose Stories Get Told: Regarding Feeling Unsafe In The Glee Fandom

This is the second completed installment of five in the Don’t Give A Damn ‘Bout My Bad Reputation series, the other four of which are Dear Fail!Allies,The Greatest Crime In Television, and eventua[Read More]

on 11/23/11 | No Comments | Read More

A Hope For Neurodiversity In Education

Sometimes when I’m feeling frustrated and pessimistic, I get to wondering if humanity is irredeemably stupid. Sometimes I look around at some of the things we do to each other and the immensity of [Read More]

on 11/22/11 | No Comments | Read More

School As Introvert Prison Sentence

… When I express desire for there to be some alternative from regular schooling, I get a blank stare for a second or two followed by “Your kid wouldn’t be able to develop properly. He/she w[Read More]

on 11/21/11 | No Comments | Read More

Socializing through silence

I wish you wouldn’t interpret my silence as silence. My silence is, in fact, a compliment. It means that I am being my natural self. It means that I am comfortable around you, that I trust you enoug[Read More]

on 11/17/11 | 2 Comments | Read More

I can’t do simple everyday things

I am a little upset. I have a hard time doing simple things, simple daily life activities for example, I see others going to college, working, but I can’t do those things (not just because of Autism[Read More]

on 11/16/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Dear Fail!Allies (Don’t Give A Damn ‘Bout My Bad Reputation)

Will I ever stop writing about Glee? Who knows! Not today! I should note that this actually turned out to be the second part of five, not the first of three as I say below. The first part is The Great[Read More]

on 11/15/11 | No Comments | Read More

Negative Charisma

A friend of mine was once wondering what stats we would have if we were D and D characters. We supposed we might have strengths of 12 or so and less than impressive dexterity. When it came to charis[Read More]

on 11/14/11 | No Comments | Read More

Autistics Speaking Day – Changing from shame to pride

My post for the Autistics Speaking Day. It’s very common for autistic people to feel burdensome for our loved ones and for society, common to feel shame of being autistic, it’s sadly expected the [Read More]

on 11/11/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Sugar, Self-Diagnosis, Appropriation, And Ableism: So Here’s What You Missed On Glee (pt. 2)

I have four short little stories for you all. One of them is about my brother. Well, my brother and I–we’re both autistic, and neither of us can pass for shit. We might not be identified as autist[Read More]

on 11/10/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Sugar, Self-Diagnosis, Appropriation, And Ableism: So Here’s What You Missed On Glee (pt. 1)

Glee is a show whose buzz is owed almost entirely to manufactured controversies. Unfortunately, this latest one is invoking autism, and as an autistic person and fan, I’m weighing in. Again. I’m n[Read More]

on 11/9/11 | No Comments | Read More

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

The following is a mashup of two blog posts from two very different spheres of experience, presented without comment save for this: One is a brief, humorous account of the television-viewing habits an[Read More]

on 11/8/11 | No Comments | Read More

Extrovert Critic: “You Read Too Much”

We’ve all heard this criticism. We read too much. When we’re seen reading, especially some subject material that seems uninteresting, we seem ‘out of touch,’ ‘with our head in the clouds,�[Read More]

on 11/7/11 | 2 Comments | Read More

The Greatest Crime In Television (pt. 2)

Stealing a person’s words, their ability to look clearly at something and see it and know that they do, is the smallest and easiest way to kill someone. What I mean is, I say child abuse, and people[Read More]

on 11/4/11 | No Comments | Read More

The Greatest Crime In Television (pt. 1)

Sometimes I think the greatest crime in television is caring. Giving a damn is already practically illegal anyways, so it makes sense. A lot of the time, in fact, giving a damn is actually more of a p[Read More]

on 11/3/11 | No Comments | Read More

This just in: Being alive linked to autism

This last week or so, every day seemed to bring a new finding about something linked to autism. I blogged one of them — diabetes — but who really would have the wherewithal to follow the growing l[Read More]

on 11/1/11 | 7 Comments | Read More

I Hate Cold Calling

For an introvert few tasks can be as daunting and titanic as making a cold call. The very idea of disturbing an unseen stranger over the telephone fills us with anxiety. -We wouldn’t want to be cal[Read More]

on 10/31/11 | No Comments | Read More

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